


Blood, Guts and Ice Cream Cake

by millefeui



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 00-Line Fuckery, Alpha!Mark, Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming of Age, Eventual Romance, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Young Love, alpha!jeno, beta!hyuck, beta!jaemin, hyuck fourth-wheeling norenmin should have its own tag, omega!renjun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millefeui/pseuds/millefeui
Summary: To Donghyuck, accepting his status was a daily struggle. Betas had always been easily ignored and discarded, merely existing on the sidelines, stuck forever in the periphery of all the happily-ever-afters. There was no way an Alpha would ever look his way — especially not an Alpha like Mark Lee.Now enter three meddling childhood friends, a bunch of clueless university goofs who unwittingly keep screwing up their plans, two eternally catfighting team moms and a Greek chorus in the form of a pair of very perceptive elementary schoolers and you have the clusterfuck that is Lee Donghyuck’s life.





	Blood, Guts and Ice Cream Cake

**Author's Note:**

> ok so markhyuck has really been growing on me lately and i've noticed betas are barely ever main characters in a/b/o works and since i rly like them i wanted to write something like this and instantly thought of markhyuck
> 
> english isn't my first language and i'm super rusty i'm sorry if this sucks haha rip

Lee Donghyuck is a beta.

 

Not the Hollywood variant that possessed the perks of both alphas and omegas without the repercussions, nor the one that turns out to be one or the other in the last minute climax of the movie (nevermind that literally being biologically impossible) so that they could be rewarded with their happy ending after all.

 

No, Donghyuck is the biologically unenhanced third wheel of the sacred union of alphas and omegas, the neutral middle-ground, stuck in the grey wall separating the two statuses viewed as the designated halves of a perfect whole.

 

For the longest time, he had struggled to make peace with this fact. It wasn’t because he was ashamed, or because it felt too “boring” — betas were the average, after all, what was considered the “ordinary”, and Donghyuck was anything but ordinary — nor did he envy his somewhat rarer biological counterparts.

 

He knew better than to envy the other two statuses that together with his own made up the biological trinity, because he had seen first-hand the debilitating conditions that alphas and omegas were afflicted with; Renjun’s first few heats were the stuff of nightmares and Jeno’s earliest ruts were even more terrifying. No, having witnessed two of his best friends suffer so horribly because of their statuses, he wouldn’t wish the same conditions upon anyone - including himself.

 

No, the reason for his struggles with accepting the inevitability of basic biology was quite the petty one, but within the context of his current stage in life it made an awful lot of sense.

 

Betas were never the protagonists of the cheesy high school rom-coms Donghyuck secretly binge-watched when no one else could see. They were always in the supporting roles with no story to call their own, little more than props, lost in the periphery of all the happily-ever-afters. It was almost disturbing how the finality of those clichés seemed to manifest in reality, for during his time spent (regrettably, if he may add) within the suffocating walls of high school, those were the exact same patterns that were reflected in the behaviors of the people around him and the hierarchal dynamic that made up the school climate.

 

As a beta, for anyone to even take note of your existence, you had to stand out — like, _really_ stand out. You either had to be the very best, the most charming, most charismatic, most beautiful, prodigious, the one who excelled in ways that made them impossible to overlook- or you just had to be as loud, obnoxious and annoying as possible.

 

Naturally, Donghyuck had settled for the latter.

 

Although he _did_ hold a prominent position within the school choir and was celebrated by the music teacher Mr. Kim Jongdae as one of the most brilliant and promising vocalists they had had in years, no-one really cared about the choir kids so his infamy at school was definitely due to his status as the school’s resident prankster rather than by any other merits.

 

He would have been satisfied with it all, accepting of his inevitable fate as a grey shadow in a monochrome world, if it weren’t for one thing -

 

He was hopelessly, pathetically, _excruciatingly_ crushing on Mark Lee.

 

Mark Lee, the school’s ace, captain of the basketball team, member of the student council, popular, attractive, straight A golden boy extraordinaire and starring role of all of Donghyuck’s steamy teenage fantasies; but, perhaps most problematically -

 

_Alpha._

 

Mark Lee was one of the most popular alphas in the entire school, an alpha that could easily have just about anyone and would probably settle for nothing less than one of the prettiest omega girls like Yeri, or one of the hot modelesque beta girls like Tzuyu, or maybe, _maybe_ even a really pretty male omega ( _probably not_ ).

 

But not a beta boy.

 

 _Never_ a beta boy.

 

A popular Mr. Perfect Alpha like Mark Lee, who on top of that was probably ( _definitely_ ) as straight as his impeccable row of pearly whites, would never look at a plain, basic, ordinary ( _expendable_ ) beta boy that way — much less an unpopular weirdo kid like Donghyuck.

 

Donghyuck’s clichéd high school love story had thus been buried six feet under before it had even had a chance to bloom. He would have to learn to live with that, but for the moment, it was just a little bit too draining to think about too hard- and so, he would keep on daydreaming and messing around at school like he wasn’t stepping that little bit more on his own too-soft bleeding heart with each passing day and his pathetic feelings weren’t bottled up until they threatened to burst like a Coca Cola bomb.

 

♡

 

The thing was that someone of Mark’s biological _and_ social status didn’t have to be nice, didn’t have to be conventionally likable, for everyone would be enamored with him regardless — attractive with academic prowess and captain of the basketball team, he already had all the ingredients for being popular without even trying. He could have been an insufferable asshole without the risk of backlash and no-one could have touched him.

 

But Mark wasn’t like that, not at all.

 

The Mark that Donghyuck had come to know over a span of several years- from overheard conversations in class and briefly brushing with one another in the hallways, to seeing him around their neighborhood after school and the the basketball games and practices Renjun forcibly dragged him to in order to cheer for Jeno and Jaemin, _it wasn’t stalking okay_ \- was something else entirely.

 

The Mark that Donghyuck had come to know — looking out for his team like a borderline mother hen, walking dogs in the neighborhood as a part-time job and almost tripping over the leashes, getting red in the face whenever girls from the cheerleading squad approached him despite being the _literal captain_ of the team, stuttering into the mic during the student council’s announcements despite probably having whatever he’s supposed to say printed out before him, yeah that one — was someone kind, loyal and selfless, an endearingly awkward oaf- someone pure at heart.

 

All the facets of Mark Lee that Donghyuck had had the chance to get a glimpse of were like those of a diamond: pure, radiant and beautiful — _lovable_.

 

Donghyuck was the opposite of that — abrasive, murky and obscure, a pathological foul-player and a mess of emotional constipation _and_ diarrhea all at once — _unlovable_. It was painful and humiliating to admit, even if just to oneself, but that was what he truly felt in his heart. It was his own fault for being himself, he reasoned, but he would never voice those particular complaints out loud. He supposed he wouldn’t have it any other way, even if it hurt… and maybe that was what perplexed him most of all.

 

But he couldn’t call himself unlucky and blame his status ( _redundancy_ ) for his woes either, couldn’t complain beyond the usual teenage wangsting without feeling guilty because he suffered no harsh biological side-effects of merely _existing_ , there was no prejudice held against his status, he was physically healthy and had a family and three best friends who loved him unconditionally in spite of the largely self-inflicted emotional disaster his very existence seemed to entail.

 

That was enough.

 

It _had_ to be enough.

 

( _Why couldn’t it be enough…?_ )

 

♡

 

Donghyuck didn’t suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome, not really.

 

The majority of his offensive remarks were well-aimed and deliberate, a precision to his witty little quips that reflected dedication and intricate thought processes — it was a finely honed skill; an art form, if you will.

 

That was why, as he lay splayed like a starfish in all his sweat-drenched, foul-smelling glory with none other than Mr. Perfect Alpha himself standing right there before him, he had to wonder if perhaps his next fuck-up was merely- in true Freudian fashion- a slip of the _id_ , his most carnal, instinctual inclinations sprouting from the darkness of his subconscious to go in for a kill he wasn’t prepared to slay.

 

Coach Wu had been his usual spartan self during P.E. and thus Donghyuck had been thoroughly drenched to the core with sweat and covered in grass stains by the end of class, probably looking disgusting and _definitely_ smelling worse than foul.

 

(He probably also would’ve died during class if Renjun hadn’t thrown a water bottle in his general direction towards the end of it, and in this particular moment, he kind of wishes he had. Screw his friend for not letting him die back there.)

 

The hallway from the backdoor of the school building that connected to the football field to the changing rooms was reasonably short- maybe twenty metres or so. It should just take a few seconds to bee-line and thus, he normally didn’t have to fear having someone run into his gross post-physical education ass.

 

But the the universe liked to conspire against him at regular intervals, probably to make up for the fact that he was pretty good at dodging most of the life lessons aimed at him; and so, we find him in his current predicament- lying splayed over the floor of the corridor leading up to the changing rooms after slipping on a towel some degenerate jock had decided to drop on the already slippery floor, right in front of none other than Mark Lee who looked as gorgeous, radiant and perfect as ever. He could feel his mouth watering at the mere sight and _fuck_ he wants to die.

 

But hey, it could be worse, he tells himself- at least he wasn’t drooling.

 

“Hyuck, you’re drooling.”

 

Damn it.

 

He could feel Renjun beside him, hesitating before crouching down next to him because this could, despite the very unfortunate circumstances, be a breakthrough. What better way to attract someone’s attention than to force them to feel sorry for you, right? Mark was nice like that- but it wasn’t Mark that was the problem in this particular equation…

 

**_Here it comes…_ **

 

“Oh my god! Are you okay?!” Mark is crouching before him now, those pretty, _pretty_ eyes so wide with concern, that perfect mouth he wants to kiss _so badly_ forming a small ‘O’ as he reaches out for him; he’s almost, _almost_ brushing against Donghyuck’s still sweat-slicked skin before —

 

“Oh yeah, I’m fan- _fucking_ -tastic,” Donghyuck’s mouth is running before he can stop it, his body backpedaling on the floor desperately as though Mark’s touch would burn him. “Like, did you know the floor is just really comfortable to lie on? Like,” It’s like he’s watching the scene unfold from outside his own body as he’s gradually rising to his feet with some support from Renjun at his side, “I could write an entire damn _essay_ about the joys of falling face-first on disgusting sweaty floors that smell of fuckin’ _death_ and rubber after one of your gross alpha meathead buddies decide to throw their shit all around themselves like-” _shut up shut up shut_ **up** —

 

There’s a nudge at his side before a dainty hand comes up to cover his mouth, the grasp firm but nonetheless gentle. (Then again, it wasn’t like the owner of said hand was capable of physically doing anything harshly anyways.) It was divine intervention at its finest, or, as Donghyuck liked to call it — Renjun.

 

“He’s kind of having a rough day,” Renjun tried to cover up for him as he offered the alpha an apologetic smile, “Sorry about this.” The small omega was more than accustomed to doing damage control and cleaning up Donghyuck’s messes.

 

“No, it’s cool. Hope you feel better, dude,” Mark offers Donghyuck a nervous ( _vaguely intimidated_ ) smile before turning back to the omega, “Say hi to Jeno and Jaemin from me?” Renjun offers him another delicate smile and a nod in turn, and Mark is off after one last fleeting glance in Donghyuck’s direction.

 

**_… and there it goes._ **

 

And this, right here, is the reason Donghyuck is probably doomed to fourth-wheel his three lovey-dovey best friends for the rest of his life.

( _Well,_ that _and the fact he that didn’t really have a chance with someone so far out of his league, socially_ and _biologically, to begin with, but that was beside the point._ )

 

The thing was that it was a pretty regular occurrence too- Donghyuck makes an ass out of himself in front of his crush in increasingly creative and humiliating ways, Mark Lee tries to be nice and help him because he’s _that guy_ and Donghyuck always ends up roasting the poor dude to a crisp until Renjun elbows him in the ribs (which doesn’t really help much since Donghyuck barely ever feels it; the smaller boy couldn’t open a jar without help), apologizes to the flustered alpha for his friend’s rudeness, and forcibly drags him out of there.

 

Then he’ll feel like shit about it for days on end but his own feelings of guilt and embarrassment are _nothing_ compared to what Mark must think of him at this point.

 

Renjun reasoned that it was like a defense mechanism — snarky sarcasm was second nature to him, after all, and so it made sense that he would resort to that during times of stress, whenever he felt cornered. His attitude wasn’t just his means of offense- it was also his shield.

 

Not that _that_ knowledge would do him any good because Mark obviously couldn’t know that and if anything it just made it all the more pathetic because who the hell turns into the be biggest asshole of the century towards their crush just because they’re nervous? No one but Donghyuck, he thinks.

 

He felt like he had no right to crush on the alpha with the way he kept instinctively  antagonizing him. He acted like a complete jerk towards him whenever they interacted for even just a few seconds, and despite his outbursts Mark always responded with kindness and some feeble attempt at understanding. It was to the point that Donghyuck would sometimes fantasize about it being borne from some form of affection and a genuine concern for his well-being, but he also knew that that was a bust because Mark probably secretly hated his guts and he couldn’t even blame him.

 

The thought made him want to scream and cry from the sheer frustration- and anger at himself for being such a mess- of it all, even as he knew it was all his own fault.

 

 _Ugh._ His life.

 

♡

 

“I’m such an idiot.”

 

Lunch had come around soon enough and the four of them were sat around their usual table at the far corner of the cafeteria. Of course Renjun had wasted no time in relaying Donghyuck’s latest fuck-up to his two boyfriends as an explanation for their friend’s pissy mood and the traitors had snickered none-too-discreetly at his misery until Renjun gave them A Look, but the pity in their eyes wasn’t lost on him. It may or may not have made him feel even more pathetic.

 

“Hyuckie, I think we established this a long time ago,” comes Renjun’s soft reply as he busies himself with feeding Jeno with bits of food from his own lunch as Jaemin leans onto him to nuzzle his hair, the omega sandwiched between his two significantly larger boyfriends as usual.

 

Renjun looked like a living _caricature_ of an omega — a petite, physically frail and daintily pretty little waif who looked like he’d start crying if you breathed on him — but his disarming disposition belied the fact that he was both blunt and cheeky, with sarcasm that could rival Donghyuck’s own on certain occasions.

 

“Yeah, dude,” Jeno conceded, his gaze kind and sympathetic, having sobered up from his earlier instant of poking fun at his friend’s pity, “Beating yourself up over it won’t undo what happened, you know.”

 

Much like how Renjun may look like an borderline _offensively_ stereotypical omega yet was capable of absolute savagery, Jeno looked exactly like the kind of alpha you saw in the movies, with strong, distinctly masculine features and built like a tank, yet his personality was the complete opposite of the common alpha stereotype. Jeno was like a giant marshmallow and loved nothing more than to cuddle with small, fluffy animals (or his two better thirds) and he was a complete gentleman. A certified Good Boy™. No wonder his boyfriends liked to dote on him so much and every mom he’d ever met wanted him as a son-in-law.

 

“Besides,” Jaemin decided to join in on the Make Hyuck Feel Less Shitty panel, “Mark’s a genuinely nice guy. If Junnie told him you’re having a bad day, he’ll believe it and move on.” He seemed to contemplate whether to continue, well aware of his friend’s overwhelming tendency to brood, before adding, “You should, too.”

 

Jeno and Jaemin were well acquainted with Mark since they were on the basketball team- part of the starting line-up, at that. He was a great captain who looked out for his team, yet he had also always been a bit… _distant_ , from the rest of his peers. He hung out far more with the university students at NCTU than he did with the kids in his own grade at NCTHS. According to his sources ( _once again it wasn’t stalking okay he had merely educated himself on a fine piece of art by being exceptionally attentive thank you very fucking much_ ) he had hung out within that same crowd ever since freshman year; and so, no one could really figure him out. Maybe that was part of the reason why Donghyuck found him so intriguing, too.

 

“It just sucks so fuckin’ much,” Donghyuck had a certain bite in his speech that never really went away, even while he was sad to the point of tears or being an absolute sweetheart in that one very specific way only _Hyuck_ could be. People who didn’t know him very well may view it as being perpetually aggressive but it wasn’t like that at all. He was overly emotional and took everything to heart even if it wasn’t directed at him. He _knew_ he had certain attitude and anger management issues as a result of that, and he _hated_ it and felt like it was just another reason he was such an unlovable mess of a person, but in the end it didn’t really boil down to aggressiveness. Anger could be picked apart, analyzed and dealt with, but Donghyuck’s erratic and rather complicated personality could not. He was just a mess, a lost cause he thought, a disease with no cure. He **_hated_ ** it.

 

“I like him so damn much but I keep yelling at him over nothing and being an asshole for no reason. I bet he hates me and is just too polite to spit it out.”

 

“You really are being too hard on yourself, you know,” Jaemin tried to reason with him even though he already knew it was a lost cause. “Everyone knows that’s just who you are. You mess with _everyone_ , not just Mark. He’ll just assume he’s yet another guy on your hit list of people to offend before you graduate.”

 

 _'But he’s not'_ _,_ he wants to say, yell, scream at the world, but doesn’t. Because his friends already knew. They _knew_ , better than anyone- maybe even better than he did himself. ‘ _Certainly better than Mark ever would…_ ’ he lamented.

 

The painful pang in his chest hadn’t subsided ever since the run-in with the guy of his dreams, to whom Donghyuck was probably the guy of his nightmares- rude, testy, volatile, _beta_. He couldn’t even really blame his beta status completely for his heartache because it wasn’t even his and Mark’s (probably) incompatible status-gender combos that were the biggest obstacle; it was **_him_**.

 

_Why did being in love have to be so ugly, have to hurt so much?_

 

_Weren’t betas supposed to be the least troubled of the statuses, free of biological plights?_

 

_Wasn’t youth supposed to be the best time of your life…?_

 

♡

 

His friends had dragged him to their favorite parlour after school to get ice cream, because while there was no remedy for his trainwreck of a nonexistent love life, sweets had always been a rather comforting substitute. It may not be the most sustainable long-term solution, but as he lived for the moment and savored the simplicity of a childlike high that never really got old no matter how many years had passed since he was still a child oblivious to his future pains, it was good enough for him.

 

And so, there they were, at the picnic bench by the park they passed on their way to school every day, attempting to fit themselves into that bubble of childlike bliss as Donghyuck nursed a sundae meant for two people and Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun shared an even bigger one because they were disgustingly lovey-dovey and cheesy like that. _Ugh._

 

“He’s just _so damn_ easy to mess with…” Donghyuck lamented as he hung his head in pure unadulterated **_misery_** , light gingery bangs almost brushing the wooden surface of the picnic bench. “At first I just shut down but then it’s like it just comes _naturally_ and before I know it my mouth is running like a fuckin’ motor and I can’t stop it.”

 

“Hyuckie, we’ve been over this already. You can’t stop yourself because that’s just _you_ and whenever you’re stressed you start running on autopilot and resort to the first thing you know and we all know that that’s being a sarcastic smartass,” Renjun scoffed but there was no malice behind it. Even though the petite male was arguably the least talkative out of the four of them (which wasn’t really saying much, but whatever), he was usually the first to vocalize his thoughts and concerns whenever Donghyuck succumbed to his endless brooding and inner turmoil.

 

While most stereotypes sucked, it was true that omegas were usually nurturing by nature due to their inherent quality of bearing and raising children. It was both a blessing and a curse because Renjun’s nagging could get grating at times- mainly because he was usually right- and it forced Donghyuck to face the things he didn’t want to think about. But nonetheless he was more grateful for his self-appointed shrink’s attempts at comforting him and giving him life advice than he would ever willingly let on.

 

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you just confessed already?” Exasperated, Jaemin finally voiced the forbidden- albeit inevitable- question.

 

“Jaemin, _don’t-_ ” Jeno tried feebly. He was always too soft to press things if the other party seemed uncomfortable, usually assuming a neutral position unless he felt really, _really_ strongly about something. It was decidedly _un-alpha_ of him, according to the norms pertaining to the status dynamics, but that was just Jeno.

 

“No, seriously,” Jaemin refused to let the conversation go like they all had so many times before, “You’ve been pining for this dude for _years_. If you just got it out of your system, maybe all this stress would die down because you wouldn’t have this to stress over anymore. Who knows, maybe he’ll even-”

 

Donghyuck chuckled in spite of himself but there wasn’t a trace of humor behind it, only spite- at himself and no-one else.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Right. He’ll totally accept the feelings of the asshole nobody _beta_ ,” he said the word with such venom that Renjun visibly flinched, “that keeps making an idiot out of himself in front him and then yells at him for it. Yeah, totally, that’ll work out fuckin’ _fantastic_.” His frustration was almost as painful for the three boys adjacent to him to hear as it was for him to vocalize. It just hurt. It **burned**.

 

“If you don’t spit it out and some point, you’ll never be able to move on. You seriously wanna be stuck feeling like this forever?”

 

“What if I prefer this over the alternative? What if he says no and it kills me?” He wasn’t trying to be melodramatic. That was how he really felt.

 

“Hyuck—“

 

“ ** _Don’t_** **.** Can we just. Please stop talking about this. _Please._ ”

 

And with that, the discussion was over.

 

As the topic of discussion shifted into a more lighthearted one — that being Wong ‘Booger Boy’ Yukhei’s latest (mis)adventure during basketball practice — Donghyuck zoned out, emotionally exhausted already. He stared down into the now almost empty acrylic cup, the remaining contents in the bottom a now indiscernible mixture of melted ice cream and syrup.

 

It was almost poetic how the now melted and mushy, obnoxiously colorful and sickly sweet goo that remained in the aftermath of his now-satiated sugar fix seemed to summarize his borderline _psychedelic_ mess of a life perfectly.

 

♡

 

“So, how long do you think he’ll last?”

 

Unbeknownst to the four teens by the picnic table, there were scrutinizing eyes analyzing their every move, every word, every breath.

 

Two young boys wearing gym clothes were watching them from a safe distance, hidden behind neatly trimmed bushes that encroached upon a large stone archway covered almost entirely in ivy. As they lingered behind the wall of clashing vegetation and solid rock, with just enough space between branches to see through, they were impossible to spot from the other side.

 

“Are we really spying on them…?” the taller of the two mumbled, pulling at the hem of his tee in thought.

 

“Yeah,” the shorter boy blinked at him innocently, “Why?”

 

His friend shrugged, “No reason.”

 

“So, back to the important stuff,” the smaller boy turned his attention back to the oblivious teenagers on the other side of their little fort, “ _When?_ ”

 

“I dunno… A month, maybe? Two? Three…?” His friend leveled him with a clearly unimpressed look and he gulped, “...before winter break?”

 

“There’s no point in making bets over it if it won’t ever happen,” the shorter boy groaned, toying with the dolphin accessory dangling from his backpack- he had a habit of doing that whenever he was frustrated or stressed, his friend had noted. “Seriously, I was gonna bet my entire Yu-Gi-Oh card collection but he just **_won’t_** -”

 

Another huff and a sigh.

 

“Why are old people so lame? Just spit it out and go.”

 

“I know, right?!”

 

“Now that they’ve dragged _us_ into it we can’t just forget about it either.”

 

“Yeah, I wanna know how this turns out. They can’t just leave us hanging like that.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

The four teens passed by the fence of the elementary schoolyard each morning on their way to school, conveniently right within earshot of where the two elementary schoolers usually met up, and the red-haired one was always moaning about his misadventures involving a certain alpha whose name remained a mystery to them and who allegedly was ‘so out of his league’ and ‘this one’s never gonna blow over’ and ‘I should just become a hermit’ (‘Hyuck you basically already are’) and so on.

 

Although it had been  annoying at first, once the two had begun to catch on to the fact that each morning’s rants actually tied into the one before and it was all basically one drawn-out rejected B-movie script about unrequited love, they had eventually begun listening more attentively to each morning’s recap of the day before’s drama in order to keep themselves updated. It was amusing to them, and also way more entertaining than the repetitive kids’ shows they’d already watched a hundred times over. (That said, this drama was mostly just repetition, too, given the lead role seemed chronically incapable of _spitting it out_ , but at least the tea was always piping hot and fresh. The younger of the two wasn’t sure what a hot beverage had to do with it but his companion insisted that that was the correct term for… whatever it was they were doing.)

 

They had easily fallen into a routine - the taller youth would wait for the shorter to arrive at school with his personal driver, they would go to their designated spot by the bench right around the corner of the small building next to the fence, and wait for their ‘morning tea’ as the smaller insisted on calling it. Once the second-long episode of their favorite drama was over, they would review the newfound information for a moment, sometimes laugh at the redhead’s misery, and then go about their school day.

 

Needless to say, they had been thrilled to spot their favorite source of cheap entertainment right on their way to the volleyball field by the far-end of the park for P.E.

 

“But won’t we get in trouble with the teachers for skipping gym class?” The taller of the two looked around himself cautiously, paranoia seeping into his previously nonchalant tone.

 

The shorter boy merely scoffed before flashing a wry, dimpled smile, a devious gleam in his eyes when he retorted, “My mom practically _owns_ the school. Meaning she basically owns them too. They wouldn’t dare.”

 

“You’re an evil mastermind, Lele.”

 

“ _We_ are evil masterminds, Sungie.”

 

They engaged themselves in an intricate handshake before returning to the more _serious_ matters, and observed the ensemble of teenagers in silence for a minute before the shorter boy declared, “If he keeps this up, he’s gonna die a virgin.”

  
“...Lele, what's a virgin?”

 

‘Lele’ shrugged, “I dunno, but the other day when my day servant was on the phone and thought I couldn’t hear he said that while ranting about someone ‘not making a move’.”

  
  
“For the last time, it’s not ‘day servant’ — it’s _babysitter_ ,” ‘Sungie’ stressed, seemingly exasperated as though this was a debate the two had had many times before.

  
  
“Same thing,” the smaller boy sniffed before scoffing haughtily, “‘sides, do I look like a baby to you?”

 

The taller of the two bit his lip, “…You _really_ don’t want me to answer that, Le.”

 

And with that, ‘Sungie’ swiftly dodged a tickle attack before he was off running for his life, ‘Lele’ scurrying after him with as much speed as his short, twig-like legs would allow.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry


End file.
